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Latest Troll Rants

Jan 3, 2012

In 50 years...

In 50 years:
  • the car you're driving now will probably have been turned into 500 soda cans which eventually became your artificial hip.
  • the music you love will only be performed live by people who are either dead, or have artificial hips also made from your car.
  • the internet will still contain porn.
  • Dick Clark will probably still be alive.
  • zombies will have been invented, probably by the same company that created Silly Putty.
  • Chuck Norris' beard will have set the world record for number of shark-weilding-bears fought in a single year, at 14,397.  This number will be disputed because of the lack of identifiable body parts; the real number will be much, much higher.
  • all Chuck Norris jokes will have come true.
  • 4chan and /b/ will be recognized by the UN as sovereign nations of these United Internets.
  • China will become a democratic nation and run up an enormous national debt buying the bodies of dead world leaders.
  • pot probably still won't be legal in every state in the US, but several other more potent alternatives will be.
  • Los Angeles will ban breathing the air.
  • North California will secede from Southern California.
  • Texas will apply to the UN.
  • Apple will have patented the vacuum tube.
  • cybernetic limb replacements will be sold at Wal-Mart, right next to the shotguns.
  • someone will dig up Charleton Heston so they can pry a gun from his "cold, dead hands."  This ends badly as Heston will have become a zombie by this point, and the idiot prankster won't have loaded the gun.
  • insert iPod joke here.
  • Finally...

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