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Latest Troll Rants

Oct 11, 2010

How to Troll: Haters

The attention whores of hatefulness.  Much likes firestarters, Haters is people who seek out targets of hate.  It really are dat simple.

But, as you all knows, Tuhd is not about keeping things all simples.  Tuhd like to ramble on for a while and make references to bacon, your lame friends, and tards.

So, standard disclaimers be here.  STOP DOING STUFF LIKE DIS!

Since there be lots of types of haters, lets us break it down to just a few categorities to work with.

Lets us use Tuhd's favorites as example.

Yes, Tuhd has favorites.  Tuhd also has bacons.  Stop questionings Tuhd.

YouTube haters are Tuhd's most favoritest of Haters.

Because they bring out the tards in DROVES.  If you doesn't know not to get into obviously baited arguements with peoples, YOU ARE A TARD.  And Tuhd laughs at you.  And then they responds to you.  AND YOU COME BACK AGAIN.  And Tuhd laughs at you.

The better you argues with peoples like them, the more they use simple retorts.  You types up a 3 paragraph response, and they come back with "You're obviously a fag who has too much time on his hands."  You call them a troll, and they outline 7 points why you is one too.

And what great abouts these trolls, is they never troll on things they like.  They troll on things they doesn't like.  And they do it because of the attentions they get.  AND YOU AND YOUR LAME FRIENDS FALLS FOR IT.

They seeks out music they not like and say trollish thing to gets you to respond.  They watch popular videos and if video not funny or epic or explosive enoughs for they, they troll it and you respond.  They seek out things about controversial subjects, like china and politics and clubbing baby seals and support wrong side (assuming there is a wrong side) and make it sound like anyone who not agrees with them is idiot, which gets you responding for months.

STOP ARGUING WITH TROLLS.

Your sanities will thank you.

Oct 7, 2010

How to Troll: Firestarter

If you doesn't know Tuhd's standard disclaimers, just go ahead and ignore any advice Tuhd gived you.

Firestarter: Not that awesome song by that one band.

Tuhd not sure whats to think about firestarters.  Some of thems is funny, but since so much of thems use politics, religion, and Justin Beiber to go abouts their businesses, it just sorta get old fast.  Like salads.  Those get old fast, too.  After a day or two it gets all soggy and a couple days later it starts growing weird colorful crap.  Just like salads.

So while Tuhd thoroughly enjoy first day or so of firestarter's works, Tuhd have to put this down in the category of "kinda middles of da road but mostly just an annoyance and more of a tard than a troll since it doesn't take much brains to throw a statement onto the internet that will cause an uproar, especially if you've watched more than 5 minutes of CNN or MSNBC and repeat what you hear or the opposite."  Seriouslies, Tuhd could do this blindfolded.

Wants a great example?  Go checks out the comments for dis video.  Tuhd not even haves to types out example for you.  Youtubes is rife with dis stuff.  Heck, da video itself is great example of Firestarter.

Before you asks, yes, Tuhd have watched video.  Couple times.  Lots of fearmongering, interspersed with bits of informations Tuhd was looking for, and little comments that probablies isn't supposed to be funny that Tuhd cracks up at.  Alex Jones guy is funny when he uses his "deep, ominous, scary stuff" voice.  The black commentary guy is awesome.  Jesse Ventura and Willie makes appearances.  Tuhd lol'd.  Dat's about all Tuhd can do at videos like dat.

So, wants to be differents than the firestarters?  It simple.  Stop presentings your opinions as factses.  Stop lookings for any chance to force your meaty agenda downs people's throats.  Stop its now!

Go forth, and becomes the patient, prouds troll you was ments to be!