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Latest Troll Rants

Aug 9, 2010

Troll-Tools: Google, The Search

Tuhd always wanted a tool show on cable, but nobodies was willing to give Tuhd lots of free tools to use and show off, so Tuhd do this instead and talk about tools thats is free for everyones.

Everyone love google. Also bacon, but Tuhd talking about google.

But Tuhd, why should I care about google?

Because you is dumb and don't know how useful it are.

But it just search engine, right?

Stop talking stupid things and let Tuhd talk at you now.



Wait, no.  Booleans.  Dat's what Tuhd meant.

DAMMIT!  Wait, what is those? Low calorie baloneys?

They is simple search modifiers that make searching waaaay more smarters and efficients.  Some of yous just type in whatever lameness pops in your head and hope for the best.  If what you searching for is popular crap, or not use words that other popular things use, then you be okay.  But, what if what you want are more obscure?

Lets say you looking for a song you heard back in the late 90's but forgot name of band, and only know title of it.  You can search by song title.  If song is Smash the Lion King, you go search for that song by just typing it into googles.  What does you get?  Probably lots of references to some broadway show.  That not a song though.  Tuhd think there was songs in it.  Probablies.

So, turn it into solid brick of phrase.  Adds you some "" to tell googles to search for whole thing in one brick of text.

You search should looks like "Smash the Lion King".  Now, all your searches come back if whole phrase, together, gets returned to yous.  But it's still not specific enough.  Too many results still talk about stupid play.

Adds you a -broadway to your terms.  now it look like "smash the lion king" -broadway

Getting better, down to about 200 resultys.  Anything else you can remembers about song?  If you know name of band, you can adds that.  You could just add whatever you needed and probably get to it.  But, if you want to make sure google not second guess you (because it big smart computer and you tard listening to a troll on the internet), then you need to use da + modify.  Google loooove to second guess you, and even override spelling if it think you looking for wrong thing.  + modify thingy help fix that.  Phrase brick trick also fix that.

Since you probably not remember song, Tuhd help you.  Tuhd heard it on and downloaded it.  So adds you a to your string to get "smash the lion king" -broadway

Dids you get it down to less than one page of search results?  Does you see dat it probably Harvesters of Death?  Hope so.  Did you also click link and find out how awful da music are, and that the song you looking for not even there?

Well, dat happen sometime.  Internet may be big and have everything, but sometimes things get deleted.  At least now you knows, and much faster than before.  As reward, Tuhd give you this:  Have you a free song.  You won't find it nowhere else.  It pretty awful.  And funny.

Now... Imagine having dis power to use on know-it-all tards who think they smart but talking out butts. Yes, you has more power now. Obscure knowledges and stuffs is all at your stubby troll fingertips.

Free song hosted, and properly labeled with band name, as matter of archival purpose, as it exist nowhere else searchable on internet.

1 comment:

  1. Haha! I am the one who recorded that awful song back in 1998. Thought I'd search the Web for remnants of Harvesters of Death and landed here. Pretty funny that it's still out there on the internet. :)