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Latest Troll Rants

Aug 3, 2010

Troll Rants: Internet Browser Wars - WTF happened?

Tuhd back again with a brand new rant.  You can thank Safari for dis one.

Why is that Tuhd?

Because Safari (on PC) sucks so hard.  I hates it.  It just one more frustrationary thing added to Tuhd's otherwise awesome day.  Firefox and IE was bad enough alreadys, but nooooo.  Some dingus had to market yet another broke OS and make it just popular enoughs that Tuhd have to program exceptions for dat crap too.

Sadly, Tuhd can't even write for the one standard complianty browser out there and expect it to mostly work in other three, because even though Chrome actually meets all standards compliancies, the unwrittens are what kills you.  So this means that now Tuhd has to program EVERY FRIGGIN STUPID CSS RULE or risk IE and Firefox batting sidebar headers out of park in different directions, or adding extra thick paddings and unnecessary margins to things that Tuhd want to be best buddies.

IE has gotten bad wrap for long time.  Tuhd get why.  Partly cause it from microsoft.  That a rant for another day.  Partly cause it been around for so damn long.  It easy to program for if you programs only for it, or do ultra-simple sites, since most people tend to use IE by default since it loads fast (as it is integrated into the OS, essentially). But if you want to look at it in any other browser, it gonna look like a turd salad.  And that not right.  Tuhd should be able to program for one and it work for all.

Oh... all you snobtacular firefox fanboys can kiss Tuhd's ass too, because your browser sucks just as much, even with your amazing addons.  The addons no fix stupid.  It still have all them "we like it this way which breaks stuff in IE if you program for us" undefined rule thingies in it.  And, even your's isn't being 100% standards compliant, so shoosh.  "Oh, our car meets 90% of the safety regulations, while our competitor only meets 84%."  Neither of those are 100%.

Tuhd try to push boundaries in web designs wherever he can, at least without copying other awesome peoples blatantly.  Tuhd know there are lots of great programmers out there, and Tuhd is by far not best web-maker-troll around, but, Tuhd not some fresh-out-of-communities-college cocky douche-wad either.  Tuhd just been doing it a long time, seen many changes.  And now, Tuhd tired of all this browser-wars high-school bullshit.  It have gotten very old.

What ever happeneds to them standard protocols and "standards compliant browsing" crap that been being talked about for last 15 years?  Does nobody actually take dat seriously?  Does every browser programmers think "oh, I must know better because I went to community college and learned dis" or some craps like dat?  WTF is so hard about making a blanket of rules for all the hidden bullshits?  What so hard about "lets all have the undefined padding be 5 friggin pixels.  Or better yets, DON'T FUCKING DEFINE IT IN HIDDEN RULES!  If Tuhd could take all the unwrittens, the "if undefineds", and remove thems from every browser, Tuhd would be a very happy troll.  It would be easy.  "If undefined = 0".  It would mean that if I needed a value other than zero, Tuhd would define it.  Otherwise, um... what is it like?  Tuhd have to think on analogy here.

Uh... hmmm.

Okay, Tuhd have analogy.  Lets us say Dave are a wood sculptor (not important which kind, maybe them chainsaw ones which make bears out of huge logs).  Dave has a great big log (that's what she said) which he got from Steve, and carves it into a great looking bear.  But Dave didn't need to carve every single inch of the log.  Some of it he went with the natural curve of the wood (shut up trolls, Tuhd is giving example here).  But some of the wood wasnt touched (seriously, shut up).  Steve, who gave his wood to Dave (I hate you trolls), is also our resident programmer of "if undefined". He comes along and puts horns and warts in those uncarved, undefined spots.  So now Dave has ugly troll-bear.  If Dave like troll-bears, then that be okay, but what if Dave just wanteds normal bear?  Now Dave have to go over and remove the things which Steve put there without Dave's knowledge.  That are not cool at all.

And get your damn mind out of the gutters!


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