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Latest Troll Rants

May 10, 2010

How to spot a troll

Lets us faces it.  You all gets tired of trolls making you look stupids on internet.  Tuhd get tired of all you tards being stupid on internet.  So we is locked in endless battle.  Like beer vs Budweiser.  Some of us like stuff that takes time to craft properly, with experience and research behind it (trolls, and good beer) and some of us like easy, feel-good, budget, off-the-shelf instant gratification (Budweiser, and you).

So why does Tuhd care?  Oh, wait, Tuhd doesn't.  You are retarded, and should be beat with 4 pounds of frozen, seasoned pig.  But, as Tuhd is saving bacon for better things, Tuhd will explains and extrampolate on dis idea.

Trolls, at least good ones, is being here to remind you dat you can be better than you is.  Laziness is option, but not best one.  First, obvious trap you tards fall in is the "Veteran who asks a newbie question to bring the other newbies out of the woodwork" game.  If you see anyone asking easy, newbie-type questions, you should follow dis procedures:

Stop:  Because if you react without thinking like you always does, you have good chance of being obvious tard.

Look:  At the date user created account on forum.  If it is longer dan one month ago, best to let someone else answer easy question.  *If you happen to be in one of dem Massive Multiplayers Online thingies dat has a player checker (whatever you call it, Sony's online system call it 'Station Players', which sounds like bunch of single wannabe pimps who hang out at train depot because they can't admit they live in mother's basement), then you should check dat to see how long dey been playing.  Researchings is always better than looking like the oblivious idiot you may be.

Listen:  To Tuhd when he say it best to not answer dem, even if they is new.  If other noobtard can't use google, they are lazy.  And if you open gates to one answer, you become their bitch.  Their Answer Bitch.  And you no wanna be some n00b's bitch.

"But," you asks, "what about bad trolls?"

Tuhd say, if you can't spot dem rampagings a mile and a halfs away, you have more problems than you deserves.  Poor bastard.

Tuhd gonna go drink some booze and play games.  Be jealous!

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